Am I the Choices I Make?

It has been a long journey in the pursuit of “Who Am I?” Another piece of that puzzle came into place today after listening to several celebrities deal with this question.

The giant A-Ha moment came out of the blue when my internal dialogue told me “I am not the choices I make.” Wow, what the devil does that mean? If I am not making the choices, then who would be?

An understanding floated to the surface that if I am the Choices I make, if I were to make a new Choice then I would need to be a new person. Hence, I asked, when I make a new Choice, does that change the Essence of who I am? Does that new Choice really change who I am, my core values, how I interact with the world, how the world sees me etc.?

The answer is sometimes Yes, it will. However, the next level of understanding is that those Choices lead me to be the more Authentic person inside. It is this shift to the NEW clearer me that is causing anxiety, stress and fear.

How ironic that as I become more of the Authentic me, I find myself more unsure and sometimes take self sabotaging acts to act from the less authentic, but more familiar me.

So, the journey continues and faith remains that as I move toward the more authentic me to Trust “I” know what is best for me to do, say, believe and choose next.