It has been a long journey in the pursuit of “Who Am I?” Another piece of that puzzle came into place today after listening to several celebrities deal with this question.
The giant A-Ha moment came out of the blue when my internal dialogue told me “I am not the choices I make.” Wow, what the devil does that mean? If I am not making the choices, then who would be?
An understanding floated to the surface that if I am the Choices I make, if I were to make a new Choice then I would need to be a new person. Hence, I asked, when I make a new Choice, does that change the Essence of who I am? Does that new Choice really change who I am, my core values, how I interact with the world, how the world sees me etc.?
The answer is sometimes Yes, it will. However, the next level of understanding is that those Choices lead me to be the more Authentic person inside. It is this shift to the NEW clearer me that is causing anxiety, stress and fear.
How ironic that as I become more of the Authentic me, I find myself more unsure and sometimes take self sabotaging acts to act from the less authentic, but more familiar me.
So, the journey continues and faith remains that as I move toward the more authentic me to Trust “I” know what is best for me to do, say, believe and choose next.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Do I Choose Quality or Quantity?
I am attending a big marketing/networking training next week that has a huge potential to move my business forward in a quantum leap. It is both thrilling, and terrifying, thinking about the possible outcomes that those three days can bring to my life. In the process of setting up the intention of what outcomes I want to receive, a choice, and intention needed to be set about why am I attending this function? What do I want to get out of it?
While working with my coach Jolette around this question, a challenge presented itself because there are conflicting theories in the networking realm regarding building business relationships. On one hand we have the “Get Everyone’s Card” and follow through camp. Then the other hand is “Connect, Know, Like and Trust.” In reviewing the two options, the second option is the one that resonates best with me.
My intention became: “To connect with three fellow entrepreneurs who are dedicated to making a difference in the world, and who will complete the tasks they agree to with personal, and professional, integrity creating a valued, productive relationship.”
In this “a-ha” moment, other questions arose about where else in life am I settling for taking on quantity rather than quality? It certainly has appeared in my full food pantry, my dinner plate and closets. Why am I surrounding myself with volumes of stuff, what purpose does it serve? Does my self worth allow me to have the quality items? Aren’t quality items worth waiting for rather than being instantly gratified? What about the quality of the time spent in relationships, how does that rank?
So far, these last items are still open ended, but it is fun to stay in the challenge process and keep refining those intentions. Sometimes the best reward is being able to make a statement with 100% knowledge it is the truth about what we want, and that we will settle for nothing less, because something less is worth nothing.
While working with my coach Jolette around this question, a challenge presented itself because there are conflicting theories in the networking realm regarding building business relationships. On one hand we have the “Get Everyone’s Card” and follow through camp. Then the other hand is “Connect, Know, Like and Trust.” In reviewing the two options, the second option is the one that resonates best with me.
My intention became: “To connect with three fellow entrepreneurs who are dedicated to making a difference in the world, and who will complete the tasks they agree to with personal, and professional, integrity creating a valued, productive relationship.”
In this “a-ha” moment, other questions arose about where else in life am I settling for taking on quantity rather than quality? It certainly has appeared in my full food pantry, my dinner plate and closets. Why am I surrounding myself with volumes of stuff, what purpose does it serve? Does my self worth allow me to have the quality items? Aren’t quality items worth waiting for rather than being instantly gratified? What about the quality of the time spent in relationships, how does that rank?
So far, these last items are still open ended, but it is fun to stay in the challenge process and keep refining those intentions. Sometimes the best reward is being able to make a statement with 100% knowledge it is the truth about what we want, and that we will settle for nothing less, because something less is worth nothing.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
I will not wear BROWN today!
Today was my weekly Rotary meeting and it may seem like saying, "What am I going to wear today?" is a no brainer question, but my subconscious mind thought it was the million dollar question, and in one sense it was. The clothing choices for my previous visits had been really rather drab, with several brown and gray outfits in there.
Today, I was more mindful of what those colors may be saying about me to others. Am I really a brown or gray person? That answer was a resounding "NO!" Okay, then why am I wearing brown to these meetings? Here is the million dollar answer: because it keeps me in the background. Huh, not a good plan when you are at networking event.
So the next question had to be, what could happen if I choose to wear a bright color today? They NOTICE me and maybe even talk to me. Well, isn't that what I am attending for? BINGO!
So today, I made a conscious choice to still fulfill my personal desire to be comfortable by wearing natural fiber clothing, still look professional and show my personality. Hence today I chose to wear PURPLE, people talked to me and I had a great luncheon!
Today, I was more mindful of what those colors may be saying about me to others. Am I really a brown or gray person? That answer was a resounding "NO!" Okay, then why am I wearing brown to these meetings? Here is the million dollar answer: because it keeps me in the background. Huh, not a good plan when you are at networking event.
So the next question had to be, what could happen if I choose to wear a bright color today? They NOTICE me and maybe even talk to me. Well, isn't that what I am attending for? BINGO!
So today, I made a conscious choice to still fulfill my personal desire to be comfortable by wearing natural fiber clothing, still look professional and show my personality. Hence today I chose to wear PURPLE, people talked to me and I had a great luncheon!
Monday, February 21, 2011
When the Work Flow Stops, Emotion to the Rescue
When the Work Flow Stops
There are days when I wonder if I have a mental illness because it is just unfathomable to me how I can be totally excited to work on my businesses one moment, being completely “in the flow” and then the next moment find myself scanning the Want Ads online longing for some stability and a regular paycheck. Today is one of those days.
It just has been almost impossible to concentrate today, which probably means that whatever I’m planning has my subconscious guardian freaking out and finding ways to keep me “safe.” I even know what is being triggered. I am trying to book travel to a marketing conference in March, a task that normally is completed in ten minutes.
However, “Marketing” has definitely been labeled “unsafe” in the near past history. Meeting people face to face and possibly facing rejection definitely moves into the red zone of unsafe territory. It’s time to move into consciously creating “safety” so my subconscious mind will be okay with the big picture and I can just get my travel booked already.
Fortunately, my subconscious mind loves whiteboards and doodling so I opted for exploring some free association writing to remind my unconscious mind that my fears are not as important as the bigger mission in life – to end physical and emotional suffering in others. It may seem like I’m trying to distract myself with a shiny object, but it actually works well because it lights up the emotional part of the brain rather than the logical side, which is where the block is.
Doubt it is a viable tactic? It worked well enough to put a blog post up -- which furthers my career goals. So the next time you get stuck, try using your tool that moves you from logically impasse to positive emotional connection to what you will feel when you achieve the goal.
There are days when I wonder if I have a mental illness because it is just unfathomable to me how I can be totally excited to work on my businesses one moment, being completely “in the flow” and then the next moment find myself scanning the Want Ads online longing for some stability and a regular paycheck. Today is one of those days.
It just has been almost impossible to concentrate today, which probably means that whatever I’m planning has my subconscious guardian freaking out and finding ways to keep me “safe.” I even know what is being triggered. I am trying to book travel to a marketing conference in March, a task that normally is completed in ten minutes.
However, “Marketing” has definitely been labeled “unsafe” in the near past history. Meeting people face to face and possibly facing rejection definitely moves into the red zone of unsafe territory. It’s time to move into consciously creating “safety” so my subconscious mind will be okay with the big picture and I can just get my travel booked already.
Fortunately, my subconscious mind loves whiteboards and doodling so I opted for exploring some free association writing to remind my unconscious mind that my fears are not as important as the bigger mission in life – to end physical and emotional suffering in others. It may seem like I’m trying to distract myself with a shiny object, but it actually works well because it lights up the emotional part of the brain rather than the logical side, which is where the block is.
Doubt it is a viable tactic? It worked well enough to put a blog post up -- which furthers my career goals. So the next time you get stuck, try using your tool that moves you from logically impasse to positive emotional connection to what you will feel when you achieve the goal.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Savoring the Small Weight Loss Victory Moments
Today I had to have an x-ray and as the technician handed me the hospital gown robe, my thoughts had nothing to do with the procedure, but rather my mind just said "I hope this thing fits around me." Thankfully, not only did it fit, it had extra room! So, in my grand view of weight loss, having it work for me functionally everyday just got validated. It really isn't about a number on the scale, but being able to navigate through the everyday tasks.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Take Me Out of Context Please!
Today I was working out the gym and was talking to someone I have known since 2005 when she participated in a walking program I facilitated. We only see each other a few times a year and the thread of the conversation always begins with her taking a visual scan of my body and either withholding a comment, if in her eyes, I do not look like I lost weight recently or her making a verbal comment about looking thinner and smiling. This happens to me frequently and usually I just go along with the conversation to be polite.
Today’s conversation began the same way, but the difference was that today I did not resent her visual perusal as I have done in the past. Today, the a-ha light bulb went off that my life continued to evolve, and grow, in these last six years, but her view of me had not. In her view, I am still in that context of “weight loss/health.” She has not really taken the time to know me any other way and I had not made the effort to let her know what’s important to me now. Until today.
With that a-ha moment came the realization that it was time to provide an update to her context of me. Hence, I introduced a new topic around diabetes and we discussed that for a while. My hope is that the next time she sees me, diabetes will be the major topic rather than my weight loss efforts. If it doesn’t, that’s okay because my core existence is not dependent on the context others see me in. Perhaps my title is, but I am not.
Today’s conversation began the same way, but the difference was that today I did not resent her visual perusal as I have done in the past. Today, the a-ha light bulb went off that my life continued to evolve, and grow, in these last six years, but her view of me had not. In her view, I am still in that context of “weight loss/health.” She has not really taken the time to know me any other way and I had not made the effort to let her know what’s important to me now. Until today.
With that a-ha moment came the realization that it was time to provide an update to her context of me. Hence, I introduced a new topic around diabetes and we discussed that for a while. My hope is that the next time she sees me, diabetes will be the major topic rather than my weight loss efforts. If it doesn’t, that’s okay because my core existence is not dependent on the context others see me in. Perhaps my title is, but I am not.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
State of the Union: Educated vs. Life Long Learner
I listened to President Obama’s State of the Union 2010 address with rapt attention. Some had called it a “pep rally” and I felt it had that intention. Which, as a life coach, was a boon to me to stay engaged in listening, rather than expecting to hear another retread of the dry, boring “We are all in crisis, it’s time to pull up by the bootstraps” speech of years past and changing the channel.
Part of what caught my attention during the speech was the call to Innovation and trying new approaches, even though they are a risk. I applaud the recognition that it is time to try something new and let the old models be. Looking ahead is always a personal and professional way of life for me and I owe that attitude, in part, to my educational experiences over my lifetime.
Even though I may not currently use all aspects of the “facts” my education provided daily, other aspects of being educated are used every day. The process of becoming educated provides an intangible foundation that goes beyond the mere measure of test scores, rankings and diplomas that are required to become “innovative.”
How does education influence innovation? A well rounded education supports innovation by an indivdual:
* developing critical thinking skills
* sparking creativity creating the desire to continue learning in that field
* providing the opportunities to explore and fail in a safe environment
We live in a world of language, so as the new education policies come into play, I call for the policies to really call for the creation of a nation of Life Long Learners rather than rote education if innovation is truly the goal.
Part of what caught my attention during the speech was the call to Innovation and trying new approaches, even though they are a risk. I applaud the recognition that it is time to try something new and let the old models be. Looking ahead is always a personal and professional way of life for me and I owe that attitude, in part, to my educational experiences over my lifetime.
Even though I may not currently use all aspects of the “facts” my education provided daily, other aspects of being educated are used every day. The process of becoming educated provides an intangible foundation that goes beyond the mere measure of test scores, rankings and diplomas that are required to become “innovative.”
How does education influence innovation? A well rounded education supports innovation by an indivdual:
* developing critical thinking skills
* sparking creativity creating the desire to continue learning in that field
* providing the opportunities to explore and fail in a safe environment
We live in a world of language, so as the new education policies come into play, I call for the policies to really call for the creation of a nation of Life Long Learners rather than rote education if innovation is truly the goal.
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