Today we had our weekly call for the Coach Training Alliance and I volunteered to be the coach since another coach was absent, not really giving my action much thought other than "there I go, jumping in again when everyone else holds back." I am extremely grateful whatever instinct kicked in because it was the best thing that has happened to me today because it finally opened a door I had been absolutely avoiding -- looking my unique gift in the eye and fully embracing it as me.
I have been practicing life coaching specifically for two years as a profession, but the concepts have always been there within easy reach for me to access in all situations and I had always assumed it was no big deal and certainly not that it wasn't something that was unique to me because that would just be vain and arrogant.
Today, for really only about the third time I've heard feedback on my coaching, I was emotionally totally wide open to receiving the praise the other person was offering on my ability. During their conversation I had to choose to either accept that how I offer coaching to clients truly is a one of a kind experience generated by the authentic me, or choose to be modest and reject their verbal gift yet again as par for the course and attributable to some outside source.
Today I choose to own my own power for what it is. My unique gift is to hear the words people use, find the underlying pain beneath the words, and then find the positive words to bring the dark into the light, banishing the darkness. That is my way, that is my gift, that is me.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Decision time: The Cost versus The Payoff
In recognition of the fact that I like to always be learning and get bored with doing just one thing over and over again, my business has several branches to it, including teaching fitness classes. This particular branch has many smaller branches attached and today one of the branches was severed, and not by my choice.
Someone else decided it was over, without really offering a reason why possible conversation had come to an abrupt end. My initial reaction was one of absolute rejection, and looking at it as "why do they always say they love me, take me for granted and discard me?"
Thankfully, after my morning walk, a new perspective emerged. In reality, this was a situational test of self expression. The ax came after I spoke up to make changes in my fee received and input into the structure of the class. In other words, I made ripples in the decision making pond of another person and those ripples were not accepted well by the other person.
I had been teaching this particular fitness class as part of a local business wellness program and had recently truly looked at what the costs and payoffs to me were regarding teaching this class and ultimately the evaluation showed that I was offering significantly more in service to the participants and business client than I was receiving and this was my business not a personal charitable act. It was time to make a choice, either stay with things as they were or ask for what I wanted: a per class rate increase and utilization of my expertise to market the class from what I know works from a fitness point of view.
I had been silent before about the situation because I was acting out of a place of need, I needed this job for the exposure to my business to show I'm a team player, etc. My biggest payoff had been feeling great by creating a healthy community as participants gave testimonials but suppressing the personal and professional costs I endured to make that happen weekly.
The new vision was that all payoffs could happen simultaneously: make a difference to others encouraging them to be healthy AND still make the fee that meets my expertise level AND be presented meeting the business goals as well as my ideas. AND they could only happen if I took action to create it, which in Landmark Education is called stepping out onto the skinny branch.
Well, I stepped out, and the branch didn't support me and the fall was pretty short. So now the same choice returns:DO I SPEAK UP to get the payoffs that enliven me, and accept other people's REACTIONS? whether affirming and rejection? The answer is YES, I DO because it isn't worth enduring the costs not to.
Someone else decided it was over, without really offering a reason why possible conversation had come to an abrupt end. My initial reaction was one of absolute rejection, and looking at it as "why do they always say they love me, take me for granted and discard me?"
Thankfully, after my morning walk, a new perspective emerged. In reality, this was a situational test of self expression. The ax came after I spoke up to make changes in my fee received and input into the structure of the class. In other words, I made ripples in the decision making pond of another person and those ripples were not accepted well by the other person.
I had been teaching this particular fitness class as part of a local business wellness program and had recently truly looked at what the costs and payoffs to me were regarding teaching this class and ultimately the evaluation showed that I was offering significantly more in service to the participants and business client than I was receiving and this was my business not a personal charitable act. It was time to make a choice, either stay with things as they were or ask for what I wanted: a per class rate increase and utilization of my expertise to market the class from what I know works from a fitness point of view.
I had been silent before about the situation because I was acting out of a place of need, I needed this job for the exposure to my business to show I'm a team player, etc. My biggest payoff had been feeling great by creating a healthy community as participants gave testimonials but suppressing the personal and professional costs I endured to make that happen weekly.
The new vision was that all payoffs could happen simultaneously: make a difference to others encouraging them to be healthy AND still make the fee that meets my expertise level AND be presented meeting the business goals as well as my ideas. AND they could only happen if I took action to create it, which in Landmark Education is called stepping out onto the skinny branch.
Well, I stepped out, and the branch didn't support me and the fall was pretty short. So now the same choice returns:DO I SPEAK UP to get the payoffs that enliven me, and accept other people's REACTIONS? whether affirming and rejection? The answer is YES, I DO because it isn't worth enduring the costs not to.
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