Choosing When Not to Lead

I was asked to be a "group leader" through a process of elimination, no one else wanted to take the role on, including me. In reflecting why the group is stagnant,several things surfaced.

My inner voice went nuts saying how I suck at working with groups and why can't I motivate them to do what we are tasked with? That lead to, why the F*** should I have to? Why can't people just find their own motivation, why do they expect it to come from outside? That's a judgment, but still a valid question worth exploring, even though I know we all need both internal and external motivation.

So, that was the a-ha moment yesterday. It degraded from there, but something occurred to me today. Leadership is about helping to move your group from a possibility by moving, inspiring and motivating them based on what they find moving, inspiring and motivating. Which means the leader needs to invest a whole lot of time into that exploration process and initially it isn't about taking direct action, but all the interpersonal stuff.

That takes time, and sometimes groups are not given the time to have a lengthy exploration. When you are in survival mode, including short timeframes, and big expectations of producing an outcome, the humanity aspect gets laywaid and the full potential of that group is not realized.

So, the real a-ha moment was in deciding to say no to a leadership role, or situation, listening when the intuition says the time isn't right.

What is Committment?

Today my hubby and I got into another round of fighting over the same old blah, blah, blah and blah. Eventually we got to the point of trying to see where exactly the mis-communication lies. We found it hiding under the rock called "terminology and vocabulary." It pretty much comes down to how each of us interpret what the word "committed" means.

For me, commitment means:

1. Giving your word either verbally, physically, or in a written format to creating a possible outcome.
2. Following through with the actions needed to make your commitment come true, even if that means exchanging one thing for another in the overall priority list.
3. Taking those actions in a timely, and thorough, fashion.
4. Acknowledging when no action is happening and resolving to try again if the outcome is still desired.

I wish I could outline his version of commitment here, but honestly, it's still vague to me what it means beyond having a common desire to see something happen. I feel our biggest difference in the definition lies within that #2, especially with what we are willing to exchange to make the outcome happen.

Accepting Ourselves Right Now - AS IS

In the past few weeks I made a decision to actively create time to evaluate what my life, professionally and personally has evolved, into. The intention of the work was to see which areas are exactly what I want them to be and which ones need modifications because they just are creating a tight neck muscle on my left side, and making chocolate look mighty tempting as a meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

There are two tracks being worked, one is to use the Landmark Education series and the other is completing additional coaching certification. Both of those trainings have hit upon a major trigger for me revolving around social acceptance and identity. The trigger is that when I communicate in both these venues, the majority of time the people who are listening and I are on a different wavelengths. What I state does not resonate with them but is a critical part of my thinking process for me.

The conundrum for me is to see if I want to pursue trying to find a common communication level or allow things to just happen, and move past it. In actuality, I am acting authentic to myself by using my words, and ultimately this is the goal, to be me and have those who are on the same wavelength, or accept my wavelength for what it is, be attracted to me.

I am what I am "As Is" and that is where I should be, unless I wish to change it, not because say I should, or are unable to relate to me on my level.

I am comfortable with my values, principles, and goals. I know what motivates me. I have the skills to make my dreams come true and the belief to turn those dreams into actions and get results.